YES HELLO, Reader

It is soul wonderful to grace you with this transmission on this blessed Friday. I hope you are having a bloomin' groovy cool day. Thank you for your time.

Remember that collage on my landing page where you signed up for this alienbroadcast? Remember that other collage that I sent in my first email? Those were both panels ov a pentatych (think triptych, but 5 instead ov 3) that I laboriously spawned in 2021.

Honestly, I think this pentatych is my best work YET, and since some ov you are inquiring about the individual pieces, I am going to share all five ov them AT ONCE right here in this transmission. They are meant to be displayed on a wall side by side, left to right, but this vertical portal dictates otherwise. Perhaps your eye will see how they all bleed together as one epic emotional alchemical tale.

More words to come, but here, THIS, THIS 5 in 1 work is THEE PENTATYCH:

Voila! There she is in all her glory.

I made this five piece soul scrying mirror during a very weird, mega intense time in my life. 2021. I spent more time on these five panels than any other collage, sporadically obsessing over them as they were sprawled out on Justin's floor with my colorful mess ov clippings, where I was essentially living at the time despite having my own tiny rooftop apartment/Scissor Temple mere blocks away. We were both unemployed due to pandemic circumstances and living on saved funds from the 2020 Uncle Sam Covid doll. I had just QUIT DRINKING ALCOHOL FOREVER on January 14, 2021 after some heinously painful, alcohol-induced pancreatitis that I got on the 23rd, eve ov Christmas Eve in 2020.

But, let's back up a little. 2020, the year prior, took away one ov my all time closest friends, collaborator & mentor, Gen Gen, which caused a massive psychic and emotional flux. 2020 also took away my employment and gave me all the FREE TIME AND MONEY I needed to get fucked up, have fun and destroy myself... and that is exactly what I did. I adopted a diet ov delivered Domino's pizza, tequila, mezcal, White Claw, Adderall and Red Bull. I eventually learned that that is A TERRIBLE diet and it will altar your personality and also nearly kill you. I got a taste ov those internal death pains and it scared me sober. Well, no. It scared me off ov booze forever. Let's be real, the total sobriety journey is long.

2021 was the y-era I went out and wore my research-crafted ADHD mask for a doctor so I could get an amphetamine prescription with the secret intention to alchemize my abandoned alcoholism into a different drug addiction. That was a VERY ROUGH Y-ERA. The habit ov 4 day daze at a time didn't last long and thanks to my sobriety clocks I can tell you that the last time I did Adderall was October 1st 2021. That was right about the time I was finishing THEE PENTATYCH.

Justin and I were also navigating the bloomin' evolution ov our obsession with each other growing from best friends (pseudo-siblings, rather, as we had been introducing ourselves to people as brother and sister) to falling in love. Let me tell you, falling in love with your best friend when you've only known fleeting romances & relationship failures is a very scary fear-engulfing ride. Also, falling in love with someone who has heard your deepest confessions and already knows ALL your dirt and vice versa is similarly intense. It was for me at least. I am soul thankful Justin has a patient loving heart and stuck with me while I battled and conquered my own mental shadow puppets spawned ov historic love trauma, all while I rapidly jumped from drunken chaos woman to paranoid amphetamine monster to sober fringe-yoga-cult practitioner to all the many masks I've tried on since. Justin's heart is heroic and I am thankful every day for finally finding supremely supportive, safe, stable romantic big BIG BIG LOVE. Which turns out was something I really needed to work out with myself in order to accept in the first place. WE are our OWN only obstacles. We have the reigns. The ability to rewire our reality is a universal birthright. As Gen would say: "Change Thee Way to Perceive and Change All Memory"

But wait, another note about wild weirdo 2021. That was also the y-era my ACTUAL biological brother, Erik Haddix, and I took a cross-country road trip, stopping in Indianapolis to surprise our Amma, our estranged grandmother, Ágústa Guðmundsdóttir ov Miss Iceland 1956 fame, for Mother's Day.

It was only then, while spending time with the matriarch ov our family that we learned we are illegitimate royalty, having descended from King Christian IX ov Denmark. Yes, the literal "Father-in-Law ov Europe" is my great great great grandfather!

You see, King Christian, well, Prince Christian at the time, had a first born son, Sigurður, with his first love whom he was deeply in love with, a commoner named Flora Concordia, but the royals forbade their love. Flora, a brilliant woman, was unjustly committed to a sanitarium/prison to keep her mouth shut where she eventually died, but not before they made her the manager, according to my Amma. Sigurður, their love child/my great great grandfather, was sent to the Faroe Islands where he was handed off to the man who would raise him, quietly financed by the royal court. Sigurður's adoptive father was the dean ov Iceland's only college at the time, “The Learned School." Sigurður grew up in Iceland, then studied medicine in Copenhagen and became a pharmacist. He opened the first pharmacy in Vestmannaeyjar, (Westman Islands) off the south coast ov Iceland. Anyways. Meanwhile, King Christian IX proceeded to marry his second cousin Princess Louise ov Hesse-Kassel and together they had six children, four ov which sat on the thrones (either as monarchs or consorts) ov Denmark, Greece, the UK and Russia.

All this to say, learning that I am related to a fat slice ov European royalty all while in a constant state ov chemically-induced mania threw me for a weird lil' identity and ego loop. I felt like my childhood fantasy ov being a ballerina princess was coming true, except without the mangled toes and leotards. I also suddenly felt quite entangled in and connected to world history, an entirely novel notion. To boot, when you follow the rule ov FIRST BORN privilege, all while ignoring the "females don't count" rule (agnatic primogeniture) OR the fact that Sigurður was an "illegitimate love child" and probably some other silly royal rules... Absolute primogeniture decrees that: I AM THE RIGHTFUL HEIR TO THE DANISH THRONE. Let me break it down for you: ( > = begat, biblical styles )

Prince Christian of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Beck (he wasn't yet King IX at the time) + Flora Concordia, the commoner > Sigurður Sigurðsson. First born. My great great grandfather

Sigurður Sigurðsson + Jóna Ágústína Ásmundsdóttir > Áslaug Hrefna Sigurðardóttir. Always called “Ása.” First born. My great grandmother

Ása Sigurðardóttir + Guðmundur Snæbjörn Árnason, always called “Mundi” > Ágústa Guðmundsdóttir. First born. My grandmother

Ágústa Guðmundsdóttir + Glenn Dale Haddix > Earl Ralph Haddix. First born. My father

Earl Ralph Haddix + Mothership Blair > HANNAH JESSICA HADDIX. First born. ME

NEAT!!

BUT HEY, Remember that epic explosive Arte I shared at the beginning ov this hefty transmission?

When I look at THEE PENTATYCH I can see the reflection ov all that chaos and emotionally raw and unhinged times. I see the fear and mania and ego and torment and shame but also the love and humor and beauty and triumph in it all. That is the goal after all: excavating beauty and truth from pain and fear. Emotional alchemy. There are brilliant blessings in all our perceived curses, after all.

Speaking ov alchemy, I alchemized THEE PENTATYCH into 3 months rent money during a time when I was living on penny fumes and prayers. I randomly connected with an internet stranger named Robert Hovey from Chicago. At that time in 2021, mid October, I had a whole new paradigm shift when I swore off amphetamines forever and replaced that void with a daily meditation and kundalini yoga practice. I was riding a radically divergent wave and Robert is the Godsent patron I found in the surf ov that fringe-spirituality New Age wave length. He asked for a sneak peek ov THEE PENTATYCH before it was even varnished, only just recently being deemed complete, and upon being the first human to view it (besides Justin and myself) he immediately asked to buy it. Did not even balk at my asking price. He paid $666 for each ov the 5 panels plus the shipping to Chicago and has since disappeared into the ether with my best analog collage Arte YET (in my humble opinion.) His phone number is out ov service and his social media has been silent for y-eras now. He was writing an autobiography called "Rock Bottom to Rock Star" back in 2021; so here's hoping he didn't relapse and explode his life. The fact I can not find an obituary makes me think he is still with us, so prayers for him and blessings for ALL patrons ov the Artes!

Anyways, I keep meaning to tell you guys about how I joined the circus and all the stuff that is going on in my life RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW IN THE WANING Y-ERA 2025.

That is just going to have to wait until another transmission, my friend. I don't want these transmissions to be so long it feels like a chore to receive them, you know?

But, here, I will kindly share this most recent photograph ov yours truly. This is a momentary sliver ov what I am up to these daze:

See you next Friday!

BIG LOVE

GOLD BLESS YOU

JAI KALI MA!

YOUR FRIENDLY CYBERHOOD NEIGHBOR,

P.S. This week my ex-boyfriend and forever homie Markus Aurelius Cirkus Maximus Fabulous Persson ov Psychic Tv fame sent me this amazing video ov Ella Fitzgerald performing my favorite hilarious Hannah theme song: Hard Hearted Hannah. I have loved that song for many y-eras, but I did not previously know that it is from a scene in a 1955 crime musical called Pete Kelly's Blues. 1955 gold. AND THEN he immediately followed it up with a scene from The Golden Girls ov Dorothy performing the song which is precisely where he heard it first. Fucking excellent. Thanks Markus!

P.P.S. If you are enjoying these uncensored transmissions and you know any other weirdos who may delight in weekly Arte, music and musings, please send them to hannahhaddix.com to sign up for the alienbroadcast!

PEACE! 丰HH丰

𓅓 (𓁹𓁿𓁹) 𓃚

---transmission over until next Friday---

Archive: Transmission 1, Transmisson 2